Planning a wedding can be stressful and overwhelming,
- OR - It can be a slower, relaxed process, dare I say enjoyable!
This summer, my partner and I tied the knot with an emphasis on local fare, minimal decor, avoiding single-use plastics, and creating something unique to us.
We slowly built a vision of our ideal wedding over 'Wednesday date nights' in our living room. Notebook and pen in hand, we listed out ideas, plans and dreams, fully understanding the feeling we wanted to create ahead of any details being decided. We were clear on our values, before facing the vast amount of choices and expectations couples often become entangled in.
Read on to discover a few of my favourite strategies to effectively organize, prepare and celebrate the wedding of your dreams - whether on a shoestring budget, trying to create an eco-friendly event, or looking to avoid the typical extravagance and formality in lieu of something more personal.
An Eco Friendly Celebration
SUSTAINABILITY: Embracing the Imperfect & Things to Avoid
✓ It's Not About Perfection
Being a sustainably-minded consultant, reducing our impact on the environment and supporting local were top of mind; However, not every single element of our celebration was 'perfectly' eco-friendly and some things took us by surprise in the moment. Sustainability isn't about perfection, it's about conscious decisions: Doing what you can, where you are able, knowing every small change and adjustment is a win for the planet!
✓ Avoiding the Landfill
Weddings can be expensive, extravagant affairs, with limitless add-ons and often the celebration itself causes a massive amount of waste: Think excess food thrown away; leftover floral arrangements; single-use decor, linens, tableware, invites and wedding favours; and the accompanying packaging and carbon footprint (i.e. travel involved from production to venue) for everything.
✓ Choose Wisely
My best piece of advice is to be very strategic about who you work with and what is important to you - this includes wedding planning with friends or family. Work with people who understand your concerns, what you are trying to achieve and genuinely want to help you create a beautiful celebration. Your ideal wedding does not have to follow anyone else's vision or look like anything you have seen before - surround yourself with people who appreciate this.
✓ Stay Local & Seasonal
When it comes to reducing gas emissions, your overall waste and carbon footprint, consider supporting the local community where your ceremony is held (and back home) - food, alcohol, drinks, flowers, stationary, musicians, jewellers are all opportunities to make an impact.
Your choice of venue, food and beverage, wardrobe, flowers, rings, decor and all those little details does make a difference. Read on for a breakdown of each category and what to look for!
The Venue
SETTING THE STAGE: Where to say 'I Do'
✓ Convenience & Carbon Footprint
Whether holding your wedding in a public space, renting a private location or using your own backyard, each of these options comes with its own set of considerations, including budget, weather, permits, fees and logistics for you, your vendors and your guests. Some things that were important to us:
We wanted to hold our wedding ceremony and reception in the same place or within walking distance to make things easier for our guests.
We hoped to reduce our carbon footprint by finding a location near as many of the guests as possible. Though we are based in Canada and did look into venues in Ontario and Quebec, we realized that half of the guests were already in Europe and we had plans to travel there for a funeral. You may find that the majority of your guests are not based where you live, so ease of travel and accessibility may play a key role in deciding your venue.
We wanted a place that could accommodate overnight guests traveling from further away. Ultimately, we decided to rent a villa for several days so we could spend time with family and friends surrounding the wedding day.
We looked for built-in decor (nature itself is a gorgeous backdrop for a wedding - whether a vineyard, backyard, park, beach, forest or farm, you don't need lots of florals to feel like you are surrounded by foliage). The villa we chose not only had beautiful flowers and greenery, but its historic architecture and surrounding landscape created the perfect romantic ambiance.
✓ Budget vs. Backdrop
The choice of venue is a major decision (often one of the more expensive aspects) and sets the tone for many other wedding planning decisions. We spent a long time researching venues based on our above asks, trying to balance budget and transportation.
Though a park, beach or forest provide a 'free' venue, it is worth looking into the need for any permissions ahead of time (and possible associated cost), as well as having an alternative plan should the weather prove difficult that day.
'Out of the way' locations may change the types of vendors you can involve due to accessibility, permissions, insurance and similar - you may find yourself creating a more DIY scenario; However, depending on the size, an event planner, 'pop-up' rental or something more local and off-grid could work such as Ottawa's Runaway Picnic (also great for spontaneous proposals, engagements and celebrations), or renting a food truck such as Nonna's Famous Pizza or Merry Dairy could be a fun low-key option.
If considering a built venue, its helpful to look for certifications or environmental impact information, including water conservation; renewable energy; energy efficiency; and protecting and/or maintaining natural habitats, or local species. *If a venue is built or upgraded after 1998, is it LEED (Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design) certified? This is a green building rating system with an emphasis on environmental and social aspects in terms of design, construction and operation (think reducing carbon emissions, saving water, conserving energy and reducing waste).
Does the venue give back to the local community, or larger environmental and social causes in some way? Examples include 1% For The Planet, One Tree Planted, Clean Hub, water cleanup initiatives, wildlife preservation, animal sanctuaries, not-for-profits and general environmental stewardship and community engagement. For some examples of accommodations and venues that give back to their communities, browse through Ecobnb, Kind Traveler or The Hotel Journal's list of recommendations.
What is the typical use of the venue - is it mainly used for weddings or events - or does it have other functions. Family homes and small businesses have more of a personal approach to weddings and can be much more accommodating in terms of keeping things local and plastic-free. Vineyards, (flower) farms and older estates often have beautiful surroundings and work with local small businesses they are familiar with, or may have catering and/or supplies onsite (food, drink, rentals, decor).
✓ Impactful Travel If you are considering a destination wedding, or having guests fly in from abroad, there are several organizations that pair with travellers to help deliver goods, rescue animals, or offset carbon emissions.
Help deliver medical supplies to a clinic in need: Not Just Tourists has chapters in Canada, USA and Europe that help you deliver medical supplies throughout the world, while on your vacation - they provide the suitcase, medical supplies and letters needed for airport authorities. Have an old suitcase you no longer need? Consider donating it to carry future medical supplies.
Be a "flight buddy" for a rescue animal that needs a ride. Basically, you escort a rescue dog from one airport to the other and everything else is taken care of (a volunteer from each rescue will be on both ends of the flight to make the transport as seamless as possible, all costs are covered by by the rescue and all dogs travel with their paperwork and necessary vaccinations). In Canada, several organizations like Save Our Scruff (Toronto) and New Collar Collective (Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal) are looking for volunteers. *Just make sure your airline accepts animals and the rescues your are working with take care of all the details (providing health records, paying fees, providing supplies, meeting you at the airport).
Offset your carbon from flying by funding a carbon reduction project that focuses on reforestation or habitat protection. For example, World Land Trust is an international conservation charity protecting the world's most threatened habitats and wildlife.
Food & Drink
FINDING YOUR MATCH: Ask the Right Questions
✓ Caterers You will want to get specific and do some research to make sure your values are aligned:
Do they emphasize sustainable practices and materials?
What are the ingredients and where are they sourced - local, organic and seasonal are preferred.
What is done with leftovers? Make sure to speak to your caterer well ahead of time if you wish to save, compost or responsibly donate yours.
✓ Leftover Options
In general, plated meals create less food waste than buffets.
Consider donating to a local food bank or shelter, non-profit, seniors centre, the wait staff; or compost responsibly.
Make arrangements beforehand to know what will be acceptable in each case for leftover food to be delivered on the day - some places may have strict guidelines as to packaging, type of food or deliveries. - OR - Take your cue from the French (like we did) and have an informal get-together the next day with all of your guests to finish leftovers - a good excuse to see everyone again!
✓ Beyond the Wedding Day
If you are looking to serve a rehearsal dinner, brunch the next day, create unique welcome gifts, or edible wedding favours, speak with your caterer. They will sometimes offer add-ons, additional packages, or may have ties to other local businesses to create customized favours; and if they cannot create something themselves, they will likely have some suggestions.
For our wedding day, Art de Cooke served Catalan tapas, including patatas bravas, pan con tomate and gazpacho - all local to the region with fresh ingredients from the surrounding farms and greenhouses. The main meal was paella (meat, fish and veg option), with fruit and gluten-free vegan brownies for dessert. They were wonderful to work with as we had a mutual love for local, organic ingredients and the owner completely understood about our desire to reduce plastic packaging and food waste.
Wardrobe, Rings, Hair & Makeup
BRIDE, GROOM & WEDDING PARTY
✓ Longevity Over Trends
Please reconsider 'wreck the dress' and find something you and others will want to re-wear (be it from your existing closet, off-the-rack, from a sample sale, resale, vintage, new, or made from recycled fabrics).
If you are buying new, consider this wardrobe addition as an investment piece that can be re-worn, repurposed or altered (hem length, cut, style, colour).
Look for sustainable designers, natural breathable fabrics (linen, flax, cotton) or recycled options; consider reusing or incorporating something that holds meaning - a family member's accessory, wardrobe piece or general nod in that direction.
If you are looking for some consistency within your wedding party or guests, invite everyone to stick to a colour palette, or avoid a specific colour. Leaving details like cut and style open for individual interpretation is a nice way for everyone to reuse clothes they already own and 'choose their own adventure' :) *In our case, there was no specific dress code, though we coordinated for the groom, bride, father of the bride and flower girls. Our guests were encouraged to choose breathable fabric and lighter colours, avoiding identical colours to the bride and groom.
If having something custom-made, the designer may be able to supply you with some extra matching fabric leftovers as well! *My shoes (and partner's) were sourced from Nisolo and my lilac linen dress was made by The Prancing Hare - both of which we bought with the intention of wearing them again for many years to come! The dressmaker was even kind enough to include some extra scraps of matching fabric, which the wonderful Tav Creations turned into hair pieces for the flower girls and a pocket scarf for the groom!
THE RINGS
✓ Think Ethical
Engagement and wedding rings come in all forms (diamonds, precious stones, different metals, etc). It is worth noting, like the crystal industry, precious stones and metals are fraught with issues over workers' treatment, fair wages, civil war and destructive mining practices; but there are ethical, recycled and lab-grown options!
Two major considerations when thinking about rings is to start the process early and know where your materials come from, including metals and stones. *We had our wedding rings designed and made by local Ottawa shop Magpie Jewelry  using recycled gold and ethical diamonds. My fiancé's ring was made in a couple of months, while mine (made to match my engagement ring) took approximately a year from initial consultations to finished product.
Perhaps the most popular choice for an engagement or wedding ring is the diamond but there is a lot more to consider than size and cut: 'Blood diamonds' or 'conflict diamonds' are linked to civil war in areas of western and central Africa (Angola, Ivory Coast, Sierra Leone and the Democratic Republic of the Congo to name a few). Mined during the 20th–21st century, these diamonds made their way to Western countries, with money from their sale funding armed conflict. In answer to this, in the early 2000s the Kimberley Process was created; However; it does not address issues of environmental impact, human-rights abuses and fair labor practices. *Not all diamonds come from Africa and many jewelers have turned to Canada and Russia in more recent years to source their stones. Some individual brands such as Tiffany & Co. have their own sourcing policies where they can better trace each step of the process. Brilliant Earth is a great example of providing education and sustainable options to consumers.
Alternatively, you could consider an existing ring or piece of jewelry, such as a family heirloom or estate sale piece - giving it a second life, and even if you decide to go with a different look, the stones or metal can be reused.
Lab grown gems and diamonds are becoming increasingly popular as yet another conflict-free option, avoiding mining altogether: Grown in highly controlled laboratory environments that duplicate the conditions in nature, they are typically a lower price point as well, since there is less labour and transportation involved.
HAIR & MAKEUP
✓ DIY or DI-Don't?
If you are looking to keep things simple, control what products are being used and reduce costs, doing your own hair or makeup could be an option.
Basically it comes down to comfort level, budget and time. If you do decide to DIY, give yourself plenty of practice in advance so you know the kind of look you are trying to achieve and have the right products and tools to create this.
For our wedding, I did my own hair (with the help of my trusted bestie / hair + makeup advisor) using bobby pins in a half-up style; and my own makeup using Elate and RMS products with Bristles Beauty brushes, trying to keep everything as natural as possible. *I also invited the flower girls to get ready with me once I was nearly finished to add custom-made hair pieces that matched my dress (and a little makeup for fun). It was a great chance for some low-key 'getting ready' photos!
Invites, Decor & Little Details
KEEP IT SEASONAL & LOCAL
✓ Bottom Line
What is important to you and do you really NEED it for your unique wedding?
What happens after the wedding - will you or someone else use it in some way? (can it be incorporated into your home, donated, composted, gifted to your guests...)
✓ Invitations & RSVPs
The shift from hand-addressed and stamped paper invites to online and digital formats has definite appeal in terms of time and ease of use, but these days there are a lot of options that cater towards sustainability as well, not to mention some truly original formats (including edible rice paper or baked invites with wedding details printed on them)! It's worth taking some time to shop around and decide what works best for you. If opting for physical invitations, look for:
Recycled paper (i.e. post-consumer waste), recycled fabric (i.e. cotton or denim pulp), materials with less environmental impact than traditional paper (cork, bamboo, sugarcane, hemp, stone paper)
Plantable seed paper (embedded with seeds that can be planted after use)
*Make sure to provide instructions for how to plant (either on the invite itself /on a wedding website / at the wedding)!
Up-cycled materials (i.e. vintage postcards, old maps, book pages, sheet music, etc. matched to your wedding theme)
Sustainability certifications for responsible forest management
(i.e. FSCÂ Forest Stewardship Council, SFI Sustainable Forestry Initiative or a Certified B Corp)
Companies that give back (partnering with One Tree Planted, One Percent For The Planet, etc)
Safer inks and embellishments (non-toxic plant-based inks without petroleum/ chemical additives, plastic-free glitter, and avoid plastic laminates/ finishes etc.)
*Basically everything should be biodegradable or "backyard compostable".
Mindful packaging (avoiding unnecessary plastic sleeves or envelopes) and choosing recyclable or biodegradable options.
Some notable options include: https://botanicalpaperworks.com/Â (woman owned, Canadian, B Corp) https://www.paperculture.com/Â (American, B Corp), https://myecodesigns.com/Â (Spanish, seed paper)
If incorporating digital aspects or going completely online (RSVP with a click or scan a QR code), make sure the invitation can be easily shared with guests via email or a wedding website and responses are tracked.
✓ Florals
Options include dried, potted (reuse at home, transplant), pick-your-own (can be a lead-up activity to the wedding / something to do as a bridal party), from a florist, local flower farm, or a walk among wildflowers.
If using a florist, make sure to talk about your plans for leftover flower arrangements including the bridal bouquet (if you have one).
*Whether you want to compost everything, or gift it to a local senior's centre / hospital / shelter / service / staff / guests, arrangements will need to be made in advance, including specifying who is responsible for this and timing.
Try to work with sustainable small businesses that will understand your concerns regarding packaging, chemicals, synthetics, avoiding floral foam (read why here) and what you're looking to achieve.
A few local examples near Ottawa include Homebody Floral, @foragdfloral, @blackfingersflowerfarm and Roam Flora.
For our wedding, we discussed sourcing foliage with our wedding planner well in advance and came up with a plan to pick our own flowers and decor the morning of the wedding. While a few of us sourced foliage for the flower girl baskets and bridal bouquet, other friends found vines and berry bushes to snip for the table centrepieces and garden canopy. We were able to find everything growing wild along the roadside and really didn't have to go far. *I brought extra dried lavender (in memory of my Mum), gardening gloves and pruners from home and we reused welcome baskets from the caterer to collect everything.
✓ Candles
Beeswax or soy candles are preferable to paraffin for health and environmental reasons.
In our case, there was a ban on open fires and candles had to be enclosed in glass vessels so my initial idea of tall slender tapers lighting the dining table wasn't possible. *In the end, a handful of homemade tea-lights by Cup of Intention and overhead fairy lights that came with the venue worked beautifully.
✓ Linens & Tableware
There are increasingly more options in materials (bamboo, cork, organic, naturally-dyed, recycled) and rental opportunities, including sustainably-minded companies that take packaging and end-of-life into consideration.
If single-use is needed, consider compostable materials (and discuss where to compost ahead of time with your caterer/whoever will be tidying up).
✓ Welcome Gifts, Party Favours & Registry
If sustainability is part of your wedding planning, consider extending this to your welcome gifts, party favours and/or gift registry in the form of a donation, or choosing local and sustainable brands to promote.
A donation to an environmental organization (reforestation project, clean water campaign or something local in the area where the wedding is held) on behalf of guests could be done in lieu of party favours.
For welcome gifts or favours, keep packaging plastic-free and minimal when possible. Look for reusable baskets, boxes, totes, etc. made of paper, fabric, or biodegradable materials.
Promote local, organic, plastic-free, sustainable options: edible favours, farmer's market finds, something unique to the region or you as a couple...
*We asked guests not worry about gifts as the flights and villa stay were costly.
*Our caterers, Art de Cook, created welcome baskets for the guests staying with us, customizing each to suit dietary restrictions such as gluten and dairy sensitivities. Featuring all local treats (honey, cheese, jam, breadsticks, cookies, wine, dried fruit and nuts), they even included a sprig of flowers and eucalyptus with the woven baskets!
*Our party favours were small boxes of a local Catalan treat, flavoured Catanias by the Cudie family - we created our own custom boxes to house the candies and match the rest of our decor.
Beyond sustainability, it was important to us both to create a very personal ceremony and reception. We didn't want to be hampered down by convention and in many ways were very frugal and practical about what to include: The venue, food and drink were our top priority, with photographers and wedding planner being a splurge thanks to additional help from our family.
Last-Minute Additions
THE PLANNER CONUNDRUM: Should You Bother?
✓ Why You Can't Afford Not To
Initially, we weren't going to hire a wedding planner or photographer as a cost-cutting measure. We quickly realized the absurdity of trying to plan a wedding across the ocean, in a language we did not speak well and ended up hiring someone.
If you are from out of town, do yourself a favour and hire a planner - they are likely familiar with your venue, can negotiate on your behalf and know the local scene (probably with a list of trusted vendors and contacts).
*If you're uncertain who to go with, ask your other contacts for recommendations - wedding venues, photographers, caterers and florists usually know of a few local people they can recommend.
Your planner is THE point of contact instead of you: On the day of your wedding, all of the vendors go through your planner and if anything comes up, s/he/they will deal with it; you have much less pressure on yourself to ensure things run smoothly!
*If you're thinking to forgo a planner because your wedding will be close to home with a very limited guest list, AT LEAST designate a trusted friend or family member to take over this role on the day of your wedding, so you aren't spending time chasing after something or someone when you want to be chatting with guests and enjoying your day.
IS A PHOTOGRAPHER WORTH THE SPLURGE?
Our photographer was a later addition that we are so grateful we decided to splurge on - the photos speak for themselves!
✓ Don't underestimate the importance of a professional photographer
In the race to save, a professional photographer shouldn't be overlooked - your guests or family friend won't be able to capture those little moments and understand key times to shoot the way an experienced wedding photographer does. Â
We wanted to avoid a long photoshoot where our guests had to 'kill time' between the ceremony and dinner, so other than a few select family photos and ceremony shots, we asked our photographers to take candid unscripted photos to capture the overall mood and spontaneous moments.
The Ceremony
MAKE IT YOUR OWN: There is no 'right' and 'wrong'
Make it personal to you - forget the typical lineup, procession and order of operations. Write your own vows if you want to and stay true to your values.
✓ Our Version
We opted not to do a rehearsal dinner and instead had a few key people gather to go over logistics in the morning before the wedding ceremony.
*We didn't have microphones so everyone spoke loudly and we arranged seating in a semi-circle; with a very small crowd it was not a problem.
My sister-in-law acted as Master of Ceremonies and Officiant in both English and French. Instead of a ring-bearer, she held onto our rings and vows until the moment we needed them. *She also reminded everyone to turn off or silence their phones and NO PHOTOS were allowed during the ceremony (we promised to share all of the photographers' professional photos afterwards).
We had a few friends prepare a short speech about us as individuals and as a couple, and we wrote our own vows. *I have a beautiful card that I've kept all of the speeches in to look back on in future.
Our guitarist learned our Intro and Outro, taken from a Myizaki film and Tina Tuner's Simply The Best - both very personal to us as a couple.
Our Exit Toss was leftover flower petals from the girls' flower basket and some extra olive leaves. *Simple, biodegradable and local.
Everyone enjoyed canapé (Spanish tapas and bubbly) while we pulled family and friends for select photos. *Sometime between canapé and dinner, a handful of our guest's kids unexpectedly jumped in the pool to swim. Luckily our wedding planner was on top of it and gently nudged them towards drying off and being ready for dinner on time.
Once everyone was seated, our parents gave a toast, we all enjoyed paellas (meat, fish and veggie options) and gave our thank you toast.
The guitarist was joined by the rest of his band and we hung out listening to music for another hour and a half, ate basque cheesecake (also made by our wonderful wedding planner) and enjoyed gluten-free vegan brownies from the caterer.
*Having a 'wedding cake' was one of those things that was less crucial to us. Our planner suggested she could make a couple of local desserts and we trusted her cheesecake abilities. To make the presentation more 'special' we added custom wood cake toppers by Light & Paper.
We snuck away for some 'golden hour' photos before sunset and wound things down around 10pm with whisky tasting.
*I actually forgot to give out the party favours, but luckily everyone came back the next day for a barbecue to finish up leftovers and go for a swim!
The next day, with the excitement of the wedding behind us, I'm glad we had something else to look forward to. It was honestly just as much fun to hang out the day after the wedding, with everyone dressed in swimsuits, eating barbecue and leftovers! We relaxed by the pool and had a chance to chat with anyone we had missed the day before.
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